A new guest post

This week, I was asked by the exceedingly popular ‘A Nation of Moms’ to share my tips on staying (reasonably) sane when juggling a baby and a toddler.

And here they are.

About A Nation of Moms

A Nation of Moms is an online collection of advice by mums, for mums. It’s a treasure trove of tips, information and advice about anything and everything relating to parenthood and the home.

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Weaning

Tip for the day: Nip to your local shop around closing time (late in the day, anyway) and pick up any reduced fruit/veg. Purée the heck out of it and freeze it in an icecube tray. When frozen, pop the cubes out and store them in a labelled freezer bag. Surprisingly satisfying!

This is a timely post as we’re currently exploring weaning with Rosie (at 5.5 months).

Weaning choices

Jenny took to food really well but she has turned into a very fussy eater. Regardless, I don’t really believe that your weaning choices have a massive effect on your toddler’s eating habits.

I think the rules to stick to are to give them what you’re having as often as possible, and eat with them. Dinnertime should be a fun, convivial time. If left alone in a highchair with a bowl of rapidly-cooling food, most children will probably not develop a particularly fond relationship with eating.

Weaning when you have two under two

There just isn’t as much time in the day to spend worrying about first foods when you’re juggling more than one child. As a result, I think weaning is a little easier the second time around. I still make healthy purees for Rosie but I certainly don’t flap about how much to give her, when to deliver it, how often to rotate choices etc.

In terms of where to wean, I have an adjustable seat for Rosie that I can click up to a sitting position. She’s too young for a highchair so this will be find for the time being. I can also pick it up and position it wherever Jenny happens to be playing so I can keep an eye on her. Fortunately she gets very interested and wants to help me feed Rosie. Under close supervision, this is a lovely bonding exercise for the siblings. With no supervision, Rosie would have peas up her nose.

As for when, how much, what etc. I follow these two simple rules of thumb:

  1. Choose an easy time of the day to give your baby his/her first solids. For us, this is  after the first morning nap. Any digestive discomfort then usually rears its head during working hours. Personally, I’d rather this than in the middle of the night.
  2. Stick to that same time a day for the first few weeks. Try various things out but try to stick to a few basics. I remember trying to shovel exotic concotions into Jenny’s gob – but really pear, apple, carrot and suchlike are perfectly acceptable first foods.

Menu envy

If you have a toddler who is fussy with food, weaning can be a valuable time to get them interested in fruits and vegetables. Ask them to help you in preparing your baby’s food and they might well show enough of an interest to eat some themselves.

You could use pureed vegetables as a pasta sauce with cheese. They will see your baby enjoying these foods and this will automaticall trigger their innate envy of everything their sibling has…

Weaning’s effect on sleep

I don’t think it’s a coincidence that the first week of trying Rosie on food, she started sleeping through (7pm – 7am) without a feed – can I get a WHOOP WHOOP!

I was totally prepared for the lengthy process of whittling her feeds down ounce by ounce each night, as we did with Jennifer. But two nights after the first solids, she just didn’t seem bothered about her feed any more. She still stirred but was easily settled.

A lot of parents report no difference in their baby’s sleep following weaning. I guess it’s down to the baby themselves but I would advise giving the food in the morning. I think a lot of people choose to feed later in the day to keep their tums full overnight but I think that perhaps it contributes to an even more unsettled night. I may be wrong but it’s just a thought.

Traditional vs. baby-led

Traditional  weaning is purees, baby-led is just giving them what you have for dinner, lumps and all. I don’t really see the problem with combining the two and massive debates on the matter seem a little silly to me. I’m more interested in hearing people’s success stories and finding out what works for them.

What did you do with your baby? Did you combine or stick to one path?

 

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This is one of the posts that didn’t make it into my book. If you enjoyed reading this, take a look at Two under Two – coping with a baby and a toddler. Read, enjoy and review if you can!

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Work

Tip for the day: If bottle feeding (expressed milk or formula), try to give it at room temp from day one. It’ll save you carting around a thermos like I had to for Jennifer’s first nine months.

I realise it’s a little early in Rosie’s life to be talking about this, but working and motherhood is a subject close to my heart. Most families in this day and age require two decent salaries (or one massive one, but who’s that lucky..?) just to get by.

To work or not to work

A lot of families are in the wonderful position of one parent being able to stay at home with the children while the other works. Also, given the ridiculous economy in which we live, often it ends up being more affordable for one parent to stay at home.

I love looking after my girls but I need to be doing something to earn a bit of cash – not least because Graham and I are both early on in our chosen careers and fun money isn’t readily available. However it’s mainly because I get horribly down if I don’t have other things to focus on outside of motherhood.

Going back to work

When Jenny hit 8 months and the time came for me to return to work, I didn’t get on with it one bit. In fact, I loathed it. At the time I was teaching English to foreign students and while I loved the environment and my colleagues, I hated the fact that I was leaving my baby at home. I re-joined the school at a point where a lot of monolingual classes were arriving. I was used to teaching classes with mixed nationalities and I found it very challenging to say the least.

Qualifying for more maternity pay

One of the main reasons I went back to work was so that I could clock up some time in employment in order to qualify for maternity allowance when the time came to have a second baby. However, I realised that if I became self-employed, I could accrue the same amount of working time but fit it more comfortably around family life. And it didn’t matter whether the business was a roaring success or just ticked along for a few months, I was still working so I would still qualify.

So I decided to set up a copywriting company. My father has been a writer for as long as I’ve been around (and a bit longer) and it’s an understatement to say I look up to him. He’s extremely talented at what he does so while I knew I possessed the basic skills to follow in his footsteps, I was nervous about whether I’d be up to the task.

I’ve always loved writing and it made a lot of sense to make some money out of doing what came naturally. Copywriting involves being very clever with words and extremely clever with how people think. It’s not easy.

So at perhaps an ill-advised point in our family’s development, I quit my job, Graham started to train for a new career and I went about starting my own business.  It was a frantic but very exciting time.

Success!

I was surprised and thrilled with how quickly the business started to gain momentum. It was a hard slog at first (I started by writing general interest articles for a content provider for $5 each) but slowly I began to gain some regular customers. I even got signed up with a retail copywriting agency and had the opportunity to write for some huge brands. I had to put in an awful lot of work in the beginning but persistence really paid off.

It was so exciting to be in control of my own employment. I could take on as much work as I thought I could handle. At times, a big job would land in my lap at which point I’d arrange for Jenny to visit relatives for a couple of days so that I could really get stuck in.

Edited to add a shameless plug for my business: Celia Anderson Copywriting. This page is getting a tonne of hits so it’d be bad business not to exploit that. Wink.

Time for another baby

I wound the company up when Rosie arrived but when my maternity leave ends I will be reinstating it. It’ll take a lot of hard work again to get it back up and running but I can’t wait. The thrill of working for myself (and being able to fit the work around looking after my children) is one I miss. I don’t have the time now but things will be more manageable when Rosie is sleeping better and Jenny is a little bit older.

I will also consider putting Rosie into nursery (when she’s turned one) with Jenny if the business takes off again, thereby freeing up the odd afternoon for work. The great thing about my business is that I love to write, so it doesn’t seem like a chore once I get started.

Which type of worker are you?

Many mothers enjoy going back to work and I have friends who absolutely crave the office environment for a bit of adult company. And I totally understand that: happy as I am, I still sometimes miss the interaction. And the parties! My office parties leave a LOT to be desired.

If you have a skill that you think you could make a business of, I heartily encourage you to just go for it. Running your own business may seem like a gargantuan task but like most things (motherhood being a prime example), it’s a lot scarier from that side of the fence. I have a friend who started a hair accessories business and made a huge success of it. Another friend designs and makes jewellery to sell at craft fairs.

If you’re the type who can work for yourself, I promise you’ll find it extremely rewarding. You might not make a fortune but knowing that you’ve made it happen is one of the most satisfying feelings there is. And having a bit of cash in your pocket gives you a thrilling sense of self sufficiency.

Anyway, that’s quite enough shop talk. Back to the babies…

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This is one of the posts that didn’t make it into my book. If you enjoyed reading this, take a look at Two under Two – coping with a baby and a toddler. Read, enjoy and review if you can!

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For when it gets too much

I suspect that Jenny and Rosie have regular meetings that go something like this: “Right, I’ll refuse my bottle and then have a massive crap” “Yeah! Yeah! Then I’ll throw a gigantic tantrum and upend my Megabloks all over you!” “Winning! Then maybe I could develop a sudden aversion to sleeping for more than 45 minutes at a time?” “Nice Rosietoes, now you’re talking.”

Panic moments are few and far between and generally we tick along nicely. But then things go totally haywire and I really doubt my ability to cope.

Then something like this happens:

… and I feel like the luckiest person in the world.

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