Tip for the day: Put your toddler to work! Teaching them about tidying up after themselves from a young age will pay off in the future. Show them how to put their toys away, make up a song about it, wear a stupid hat. Anything to make it fun. And before long you’ll have a proper little helper!

One of the things that panicked me most about juggling a baby and a toddler was that the precious 1.5 hours I usually had to myself while Jennifer napped would be tied up with sorting out our newborn. For the first 7 weeks it was all trial and error. If Jenny fell asleep, chances were very high that Rosie would stir for something or other. And vice versa.

But as soon as we started putting a routine in place (whereby we all at least went to bed and got up at the same time as each other), I found that Rosie was habitually going up to bed at around 10am. Her naps would usually last between 2.5 and 3 hours so when Jennifer started rubbing her eyes at around 11am, I would almost always get that hour and a half to myself.

However, over the past few weeks since moving into her new bed, Jenny has been fighting her naps a little bit (running around, throwing things across the room, yelling ‘SLEEPY BUNNIES’ at the top of her voice).

You can imagine my joy.

So what do you do when your toddler starts fighting naptime, but so clearly still needs the sleep? And goodness knows you need the break.

Here are a few things we’ve tried to convince Jenny. Some work, some don’t. Some work for three days then fail catastrophically. It’s just a case of trial and error I think.

• Stage a sit in – while your toddler is cavorting and going bonkers, try sitting on the floor with your back to them, reading a book. Don’t make eye contact, don’t react to the inevitable button-pushing that they’ll try (Jenny likes to try to push me over then jumps back into bed giggling) and just persevere. WARNING: this one’s not for the faint hearted. Chances are the first few times you try this, it’ll take a good 45 minutes or so to work. You need to stay patient, calm and collected. If you’re having a bad day or are super tired, I wouldn’t attempt this approach.
• Choose your moment – nap readiness is very tricky. Sometimes, I put Jenny to bed before she’s even really displaying mega signs of tiredness and she drops off. Other times, she’s crying, rubbing her eyes, demanding her bed, only to muck around for an hour before finally falling asleep. I find a good way to approach naps with my toddler is to have lunch, wind down with some stories or some Pingu (her favourite) and then head up about three quarters of an hour later. That way, the food’s settled, she isn’t hungry and she’s almost always asleep within 15 minutes.
• Delay it – if your toddler seems to be growing out of the morning nap, try delaying it until about 2pm. Any later and you’ll probably find it knackers your bedtime routine.
• Don’t give up – I’m a real stickler for not giving in (sometimes to my massive detriment). I’m a firm believer in staying on course once you’ve made a decision as a parent. Any kind of ‘giving in’ feels like a chink in my armour. Being consistent and never giving in does sometimes mean we spend four hours of the day battling naptime. But I’d rather that than back down and deal with a fractious, knackered toddler who thinks I’m a pushover. Schedule allowing, stick to your guns once you decide it’s naptime. Sometimes you will have to give up, naturally. But make that the exception, rather than the rule.
• If you’re really at the end of your tether and your toddler just won’t give you the break. Try instigating ‘Quiet Time’ – an hour or so that they play in their bedroom. Alone. We often do this with Jenny and sometimes go up to find she’s made a den in the corner of the room and dropped off. Sometimes a toddler will fight their nap purely because they know it’s what you want from them. If you pop them in their room to ‘play’, just wait and see what they do. Even if they don’t fall asleep, you’ll have had a bit of time to yourself. Crucial, you’ll agree.

Once you’ve tackled your toddler’s sleep problems, you can start planning your baby’s nap around them. Babies are far more flexible when it comes to naptime so it’s best to start from the top down. Hopefully, before long, you’ll have a toddler that is asleep or occupying themself for the same hour or so that your baby is snoozing.

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This is one of the posts that didn’t make it into my book. If you enjoyed reading this, take a look at Two under Two – coping with a baby and a toddler. Read, enjoy and review if you can!

Don’t feel selfish or mean for insisting on this time to yourself. It is absolutely vital that the day is broken up by naptime, or you’ll go crackers before number two’s first birthday.