Monthly Archives: November 2012

The Fox and the Snake

Posted on by
4

Tip for the day: Don’t swear in front of your children…

Today calls for something of a confessional.

Recently, Jenny’s been shouting something that sounds like ‘fox snake!’ when she’s in her toy car or on her little wooden bike. It’s usually heard when she’s just crashed into a wall.

Now, this is a famlee blog, so I won’t commit to pixels what I think she is saying. But I think that, given the information above, you can figure it out.

Naughty words

Most parents will have run into the slight problem of their toddler saying rude words. Even if they haven’t tripped off the tongue of the parents themselves, these words get uttered all over the place and they’re bound to get picked up.

I won’t lie. I’m no saint and I have something of a potty mouth (here’s a little wave to my family and friends, who will be smirking knowingly right now), so I imagine Jenny probably picked up her latest bon mots from me.

Morphing

I realised pretty quickly I’d have to do something about the situation. Not least because Jenny’s granny was due to come and stay.

My sisters (after they laughed and took videos/the p*ss) and I started by trying to morph this phrase into ‘fox and snake’ in the hopes we could dress it up as a quote from a beloved story book.

But all this achieved was friends and family starting to use ‘fox and snake!’ as their newest expression of frustration.

This approach works with shorter naughty outbursts (sit, duck etc.) but didn’t really do the trick with such a blatantly obvious phrase.

Zero tolerance

So I decided I had to start to teach Jenny that it’s a naughty phrase and she shouldn’t say it. I wasn’t sure if this was the healthiest method so I approached with caution and made sure I wasn’t being unfair.

I started by telling her gently that she mustn’t shout ‘FOX SNAKE!’ any more. If she said it again that day I’d reiterate that it was naughty and that the next time, she would have to go on the naughty step if she said it.

It seems to be working for now (other than yesterday when she got into her car and said ‘I not say fox snake Mummy’ – wasn’t really sure how to deal with that one…).

I didn’t want her to get punished immediately for saying it, so thought a gradual method was safest. After all, she doesn’t know what a naughty word is yet.

She will, let’s give her a few more years under my roof.

Dealing with swear words

All hilarity aside (and there has been lots), if your toddler has picked up a swear word and you’re keen to get rid of it, make sure you take a gentle but no-nonsense approach. They don’t know what they’re doing and it’s all very funny in the house, but it can be pretty shaming when they start lobbing expletives around the supermarket.

I’d love to hear other tales about swearing toddlers. If only to make myself feel better…

This is one of the posts that didn’t make it into my book (y’know, social services and all that…). If you enjoyed reading this, take a look at Two under Two – coping with a baby and a toddler. Read, enjoy and review if you can!

Share

Guilt

Posted on by
2

Tip for the day: Do you own Jenga? The bricks are great for all sorts of games with your toddler, and your baby will love gumming on the smooth wooden bricks when they’re teething (obviously supervise this closely!). Your baby can sit in their little seat and chew their bricks while your toddler builds towers, tracks, houses etc. A good early lesson in sharing.

I think it’s safe to say that guilt is one of the prevailing emotions in motherhood (and possibly fatherhood, I can’t speak for them).

Since adding Rosie to our brood, I have felt guilty about pretty much everything. I think it’s something that every parents worries about when they introduce a second (third, fourth…) baby to the family. The sudden shift in balance and attention can create difficult situations and it’s easy to feel a bit rubbish about it, and to start beating yourself up.

My guilt

On the odd occasion that I let my hair down and go out for the evening, I feel a bit guilty.

When I ask Graham to take over for a night while I catch up on some sleep, I feel a bit guilty.

I think the most crushing guilt I’ve felt recently was when our baby refused to go to sleep in her auntie’s arms and I realised she was just too used to being put in her Moses basket to sleep. I used to cuddle Jenny for hours and let her sleep on me all afternoon, but I can’t do that with Rosie.

Guilt central.

Today’s serving

Today I feel guilty because I’ve stopped breastfeeding altogether. I was expressing for a while after Rosie decided that a bottle is far easier, but my pump’s knackered and I’m frankly exhausted from the disappointingly unproductive pumping sessions.

But the fact is that breastfeeding for any number of days, weeks, months is amazing. However far any mother gets, she’s done something incredible and should never feel guilty for deciding or having to stop.

Be realistic

There always seems to be something to feel guilty about when you’re the main carer of any number of children. But you must learn to shake off these feelings, as they only end up hurting you.

What’s important to remember is that no one expects you to be superhero. When Rosie first arrived, I put a lot of pressure on myself to get everything done in a day and nearly wiped myself clean out after a few weeks.

I started to feel and think like a martyr and that’s not a good look on anyone.

And be nice to yourself!

The chances are very high that you are doing an amazing job of raising your baby and toddler so in those moments of self-reproach, give yourself a break and remember that you’re only human. People all around you are probably wondering how you do it!

Crucially, there are plenty of situations and people out there ready to knock you back, you don’t need to do it to yourself.

So, as I have to say to myself regularly, stop worrying, stop feeling guilty and remember to enjoy your amazing family.

————————–

This is one of the posts that didn’t make it into my book. If you enjoyed reading this, take a look at Two under Two – coping with a baby and a toddler. Read, enjoy and review if you can!

Share